What do they want for Christmas?

Happy winter holiday of your choosing! I see that catching on at all the mall stores.

Regardless of what you celebrate there is probably gift giving involved and therefore, probably frustration. If you're anything like me (selfish and dense) you find the trickiest people to shop for are those most unlike yourself. As a female, I find it particularly challenging to find gifts for the men on my list. Whether it's Dad, Brother, male co-worker I drew in Secret Santa- I never know if I'm choosing something I want them to want or something that's actually cool.  If this is not you and you happen to be some kind of perfect gift wizard, this post is not for you and are your services for hire?

Lucky for the rest of us there roughly nine million gift guides out there just waiting for your perusal. Unfortunately, not all of the advice is good. But, how do you ask, can we tell the genuinely good ideas from the stinkers? I have no idea, I asked someone else.

Boyfriend is here to tell us just how accurate one of those online gift guides can be.

For our little experiment, we chose Gifts.com's Top 10 Gifts for Guys. Gifts.com compiles gift ideas from a variety of sources and allows you to browse ideas by occasion, recipient, you get the idea.

So, here's Boyfriend's take as we went through, item by item: 

He'll be in blue.

Ok, first item?

Road Trip Napa Valley Red Wines...I’m more of a beer guys, 38 bucks for six bottles of wine isn’t a bad idea. It’s hard to go wrong with booze.

Fair enough, pretty safe start. Next?

Custom Protein Bars Gift Box" Sighs. “Because nothing says 'I love you' like your face staring off a health food package.

Who is that a good gift for?

Laughs. A grandmother or grandfather of some sort...Holy crap?!50 dollars for 6 energy bars?!

Well, they're custom...

Do you know what that is in Clif currency? That’s like 25 Clif bars!

Yes it is. Moving on then?

Personalized Large Popcorn Bucket. It's a handwash-only popcorn bucket

And…?

We own bowls, right? I don’t know why I would need a bucket that can hold a message in one line up to 12 characters. I can’t even get my full name in 12 characters. And the hand wash only adds to it, when you’re standing there washing fake butter out of a plastic bucket with your name on it. That’s a level of shame I don’t want to associate with Christmas.

Ok, nothing handwash-only for guys, got it.

Needlepoint Flask. I’m gonna be open and up front on this one. I’ve owned a flask. The flask is the container of the inconspicuous drinker. Rarely do people drinking out of flasks stop so they can turn to the person next to them and say 'hey look at the design that’s on my flask.' It’s an inconspicuous way to add hard liquor to things that don’t usually have hard liquor in them. I don’t see spending 35 dollars on one that has “cheerful needlepoint messages”.
Noted.

Timerland Rattler Boots. (Scoffs) I don’t really have anything to say about this. They’re packable boots.

What do you think that gift says about you and the gift giver?

It says I know you’re a person who sleeps outside a lot. I’ve just never really needed more foot warmth than warm socks can provide. 
Hot Sauce of the Month Club!* (no longer on list)

Have we found one you want?

The only problem with this gift is that it only lasts 4 months. They do have longer options but its probably way more expensive than is justifiable for the amount of hot sauce you’re going to get. You could just go into one of those kitchy mall stores and pick them out yourself…I don’t know what benefit I would get from the monthly newsletter…I’m not really interested in hearing what other people have to say about hot sauce.
I don't see why not. Ok, next?

Personalized grilling gloves. (Snorts) I still have a five dollar pair of work gloves from when I worked installing fences. Its never occurred to me to put them on when I was grilling. That’s probably pretty stupid considering the amount of grilling time I spend going “Ah! That’s hot!” but I don’t need a grilling glove with a logo on it. I may try to find those work gloves though. It also makes me happy to know there’s a grillinggifts.com

Your New York Times Front Page on Marble Clock. Oh, that’s good. For a second I was worried it was just one front page but apparently you can get any front page. (Reading from the description) “Geared to mark birthdays, anniversaries and other important life events”- that’s great if you happen to be a public figure mentioned on the front page or if something in your life was addressed. But generally you just have to hope that your birthday is not on 

9/ 11 or something. This could also lead to awkward conversations. 'What time is it? Oh, it’s America’s Drive Before Airfield.' (Shakes head)

Microbrew beer bucket gift basket (Snorts) …Again the…this is 70 dollars for a bucket and a mix-a-six! At first I was pleased they were getting to the beer. The beers in this thing are a $1.50 a piece at the store. I could get these beers down the street for 9 dollars. It’s great that they have an awesome galvanized bucket but... Alcohol is always a welcome gift but paying a random website to pick random beers and ship them to me…it’s just a little odd. Also, the stuff they have as the most popular microbrews are six of the most widely available microbrews you can find anywhere. I mean if you did this at the grocery store at least I’d know you’d put some effort into it.

What if you don’t live near a decent store that carries micro beers?

Then you should move.

Personalized beer holster? (Pulls computer closer) I don’t see what's personalizable here. I mainly just see this as an easier way to get arrested. Yeah, I mean I guess sometimes I’ve thought 'man, I wish there was somewhere I could put my beer'. It does seem very fashion forward though what with the extra leg strap. I’d also like to see this baby in action. I’m not convinced it wouldn’t dump your beer all over you.

How well you do think this list did at coming up with gift ideas?

They got a lot of the genres right, it was clear they were trying to hit dude stuff.

Such as?

Booze- wine, beer, liquor, beer holder, liquor holder. I mean, I got my brother hot sauce for his birthday this year, I have no problem with that concept. They went for outdoors, grilling, a weird combo of appreciation of media and history.

Where did they go wrong?

Execution, I suppose. I think this is a lot of stuff that when you look at it for just a second you think 'oh that’s cool' and then you realize it’s a bunch of stuff that’s more expensive than it needs to be. I’m a big function over form guy, I know not everyone’s like that but in general this stuff doesn’t appeal to me. The beer holster and the flask have kitch value- hey those are two things I don’t expect to go together. I’d probably say that, assuming those bottles of wine are decent that’s not a bad deal.

Is personalized a big sell for guys?

It hasn’t ever really been for me. I do remember a friend getting S-wizzle For Shizzle on the inside of his highschool ring so I guess I shouldn’t speak for everyone but I can’t see him sitting at home with the popcorn bucket, label out, so everyone can see that it’s Spencer’s popcorn bucket.

There you have it folks. A guy's opinion on what to buy them for Christmas. I'm off to find a hand-wash-only, needle-point bottle holster with Boyfriend's name on it! Happy shopping!

*All images are from gifts.com and it seems the "Hot Sauce of the Month Club has since been changed to "Beer of the Month Club."